Michael Jackson Has a Bajillion Songs You've Never Heard
Well, not a bajillion, which actually isn’t a real number, so that kind of goes without saying. But maybe 100. At least that’s the word on the street. There are reports swirling that Jackson has an entire catalog of songs he doesn’t want anyone but his kids to hear—and not until he’s dead and buried. You may be wondering why you should care, and I’m happy to answer. You see, a long time ago—we’re talking decades now—Michael Jackson was amazingly cool and talented and insanely popular and everyone wanted to be just like him. And then, suddenly, everything went tragically awry. The artist known as Michael Jackson (I’m still waiting for proof that’s really him) started acting all kinds of crazy and dyed himself white and dangled little babies from balconies. It was all a bit weird…and a lot sad. At any rate, all this death-preparing, morbid talk from Jackson (again—if that is his real name) is fueling rumors about his health. There’s more here; have a look.