Justice Alito is a bloviating conservative windbag of questionable morality who has made a career out of marginalizing the rights of a staggering number of Americans.* We all already know that; there’s no story there. But what is noteworthy is the fact that, in a recent opinion, Judge Alito made several allusions to John Lennon’s Imagine, and at one point, even went so far as to quote all the lyrics of the song. This is funny because John Lennon would definitely have found Alito to be a horrible person and would probably have loudly contested his use of his lyrics, since he’s pretty much dedicated his life to everything John Lennon was against.
Brian E. Gray, a law professor at U.C. Hastings, also noticed the…um—let’s call it the “incongruity”—that exists between Alito’s decisions and his choice of Lennon’s words to describe them, and he has expressed his observations in a hilarious Morning News piece called, appropriately, You Are Not Cool. A quote from the article:
At this point, I began to imagine how John Lennon would have reacted both to Alito’s cooptation of his lyrics and the justice’s decision in [another] case to deny monetary compensation to Diana Levine, a professional musician. Levine’s right arm had to be amputated after she developed gangrene because of faulty labeling of the pharmaceutical company’s anti-nausea drug Phenergan, which she received by inadvertent intra-arterial injection. “[T]ragic facts make bad law,” was Alito’s only lament. It is a far cry from a world in which there is “no need for greed or hunger, a brotherhood of man.”
Justice Alito is a conservative whose views on government promotion of religion and corporate evasion of responsibility for violations of state health and safety laws may or may not comport with the intentions of the framers of the Constitution. But whatever Justice Alito’s legal philosophy, one thing he isn’t is cool.
Pretty awesome and very funny. To read the whole thing, go here.
Shows may come and go, but the perennial Coolest Show of All Time—and I mean this—has got to be Sesame Street. Whenever I hear that a musician has made an appearance on the block, I can’t help but think higher of that person. I guess spending your time with muppets, for me, just adds a certain amount of cachet. Anyway, MusicRadar compiled the 11 Greatest Sesame Street Guest Songs and they are all pretty amazing—and that includes those selections from musicians who may not be your favorites. Watching Johnny Cash strum a tune about a grouch he knows as Oscar shows his support (for the aforementioned grouch, of course), or Stevie Wonder play Superstition while a nearby kid headbangs (!), or Feist count to four surrounded by gleeful monsters, or R.E.M. jump up and down with a gaggle of furry creatures makes you feel good and chases your cynicism away. There are lots more big names mingling with the locals on what’s arguably the world’s most famous street. To see them all—and I cannot stress how much you should—go here. [Music Radar]
By Kali on Mar 20, 2009
A Character Named Lord Humungus
Last night I watched Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior. I always thought that there was something kind of awesome about it. The simple vision of a post-apocalyptic world was certainly intended to be a comment on civilization in the twentieth century (the age of consumption). Humankind had lost it’s way, and would kill for oil (literally). Having not seen the film in several years, I couldn’t stop giggling at the silly representation of the sexually deviant villains. The most prominent of these characters being a twinkish man-boy, his mohawked lover and Lord Humungus (the uber dom). And to top it off, they run around the wasteland clad in used sports apparel and leather chaps with no underwear. I hope the future isn’t that bad.
By Keith on Mar 18, 2009
Heavy Metal Monk
Heavy Metal + Capuchin Brother Cesar Bonnizi = Heavy Metal Monk.
When I was in art school, one of the most creative people that I knew was a guy named Michael Sanchez. He wasn’t a student; rather he was a childhood friend of another exceptionally talented student that I knew. Michael and my friend DW epitomized young indie-rock. If I enjoyed the The Pixies, they adored them. And it wasn’t just their love of music that said so. The songs that they were writing at 19 or 20 years old were really something special. Recently, I got back in touch with Michael only to find out that he is living in Chicago, is a pretty hilarious stand up comedian with a great Joy Division joke, and is still playing music with his group The Way It Is. Go to their site and check out their video for You Chose Heads; it’s a perfect little tune, clocking in at under a minute and a half.
By Keith on Jan 15, 2009
No Need to Explain
By Kali on Jan 15, 2009
Say What You Mean
By Kali on Dec 10, 2008
Mona Lisa (TM) Revisioned
Imagine if the Mona Lisa were painted not by Leonardo di Vinci, but Picasso…or Matt Groening for that matter. This is a goofy time killer, but it’s still kind of neat to see how Meowza Katz reimagines the most famous painting in the world were it created by another artist. To see the gallery of images, go here.
By Kali on Dec 05, 2008
'70s Rock Stars at Home
It’s easy to forget that someone who is remembered for writing lyrics like “I’m gonna ram it up your poop shoot” has actual parents, but biology dictates that even the most controversial songsmiths do. That fact of nature is less of a head trip than actually seeing said songwriters not just alongside their ‘rents, but in the utterly un-rock’n’roll homes where they were reared. LIFE magazine apparently realized the subtle shock and oddly touching effect of photos of ‘70s rock stars—some of whom were, at the time, mostly known for publicly doing and celebrating things most of us wouldn’t so much as discuss with our parents—in their parents’ and grandparents’ living rooms, parlors and dens. It’s pretty f’ing awesome not just for the obvious reasons, but also because the featured rock stars seem to be so geniously color coordinated with the rooms in which they’re depicted. Anyway, head here to see a sampling of these vivid, brilliant pics.
By Kali on Nov 25, 2008
Super Obama World
Imagine that Super Mario was all about hope and change. Got the picture? Good. Now go here.
By Kali on Nov 11, 2008
Both Clever and Funny
By Kali on Oct 15, 2008
A + B = TRUE
By Kali on Oct 14, 2008
George Carlin Was Smart
I was just remembering one of my favorite Carlin truisms. I don’t need to editorialize about it; it pretty much sums it up on its own:
“Pro life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re pre-born—you’re fine. If you’re pre-school, you’re fucked. Conservatives don’t give a shit about you until you reach military age.”
By Kali on Oct 07, 2008
My Alma Mater Doesn't Give a Sh*t
Apparently, these signs have begun appearing in the bathroom stalls in freshperson dorms at my alma mater, Oberlin College:
At a school where the president makes nearly $400,000 a year and tuition is nearly $50,000 a year, you’d think they’d pitch in for some t.p. And in thinking that, you’d be completely wrong.
By Kali on Oct 03, 2008
This is Good
A funny sign my friend saw recently:
By Kali on Oct 02, 2008
I LOVE Unintentional Double Entendres
How could Jesus pass this up?
By Kali on Oct 02, 2008
I Cannot Support This
I just found out that the Ting Tings have released a cover version of Altered Images’ Happy Birthday, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out why. The original is one of my favorite songs of all time, and has been ever since I first heard it tucked in the background of a scene in Sixteen Candles, a movie I watched literally hundreds of times on cable—and then later on a well-worn VHS tape—as a kid and which led me to the false conclusion that high school would be fun. Clare Grogan sounds like a pouty pixie, lending the whole song an adorable quirkiness, while the jangly guitars ring like bells and bounce from note to note. Frankly, Happy Birthday is not a song that ever, ever needed a remake—especially one that replaces the song’s original oddness with such unmitigated normalcy (why would you want to cover a song solely to make it sound less unique?). So, I’m posting the original here; you can look up the Ting Ting’s version—for comparative purposes, I suppose—on your own.
Why Notions of Authenticity in Fashion Are Just Dumb
According to the judges on Project Runway, this outfit is Punk.*
Everytime I see this picture, I laugh really hard, and then a little part of me dies…**
*Actually, they called it “authentically punk.” Really.
**…And Jerry Nolan spins in his grave.
By Kali on Sep 29, 2008
This Turtle Has More Punk Rock Cred than John Lydon These Days
If this turtle could talk, he would probably go on and on about how New York City sucks now because there’s no real junkies in the Lower East Side anymore and how the Bowery is total bullshit these days, especially since CB’s closed, and how he used to have a walkup on Avenue A that cost $100 a month, that he split with three roommates, and one time Johnny Thunders and Stiv Bators got into a fistfight on his fire escape while Billy Murcia shot up in his bathroom and how he introduced Sid Vicious to Nancy Spungen and man, does he ever regret that.
By Kali on Sep 29, 2008
For Realsies?
So John McCain wants to “suspend” his campaign to head back to Washington and (get this) fix the economy. Really? Really? I’m sure I’ll get an angry email from him in which he calls me a “cunt” (Cindy and Sarah take so much abuse from that man) after I post this, but I cannot censor myself right now. The truth is, John, this move would seem totally genius if it wasn’t already so f’ing played out. What—do you think we’re all morons who haven’t already experienced eight years of this Rovian bullshit? I know that metaphorically walking and chewing gum at the same time makes you worry you’re going to fall down and break your hip (and at your age, granted, that is a valid concern), but this just makes you seem weak. And unable to compete. And unprepared to lead. You’re going to have to do better, John. This just isn’t going to cut it.
